Over the course of the past few months a few clients and colleagues have navigated some difficult situations. Everything from employee challenges to family matters. As a third party looking in on the situations, I had a unique perspective to see how these challenges impacted not only the business and the families depending on the situation but most importantly how it affected the individuals directly involved in the situation.
Any time there is a substantial change, loss or damage to a person or entity there is a corresponding self-reaction as to taking blame or holding oneself personally accountable for the wrong or unpleasant outcome. It is generally part of human make up to evaluate a situation and wonder how this could have been avoided or maybe proactively altered not to take place. As leaders we all have the “I can fix it” mentality and keep pushing forward even when the deck is stacked against us.
As I watched these situations unfold and looked keenly at the people involved, I detected that some wrestled with the challenge of this event contributing to a sense of failure. That somehow this situation was in some form or fashion a direct reflection on them and that they had failed in one way or another. Even in cases where there was proactive effort invested to correct or resolve a situation early in the discovery, there was still a sense of failure associated with the actions taken. This sense of failure then manifests itself in the person potentially losing confidence, feeling embarrassed and even doubling down on trying even harder to fix something that in the end was not fixable.
In talking with many of these colleagues during the cycle of the events, I noticed that those who moved from the initial sense of failure to a more productive view of what can I learn from these events moved to a place of not succeeding rather than a place of failure. This is a critical point of development and growth for all concerned. It is very difficult to improve something when your mind is in failure mode. When your mind is in learn or development mode you can see the opportunities for betterment.
This week should you have the need to deal with a conflicted situation when interacting with your team, your family, your friends, and colleagues, give yourself the opportunity to have the mindset of learning and development so you stay in the not succeeding mode rather than failure mode. This will open up the greatest number of variable options of resolution and growth. The alternative is to flow into despair and wallow in failure mode.
Recognizing that we have fewer of these more life changing events on a weekly basis, you may not have the need in the coming week. More importantly is that you will need to stay in the right mindset when they will occur and getting ready and practicing early is a great proactive investment in best outcomes in the future.
Need a situation sounding board to bounce ideas off of to move in a positive direction? Your Promise Guide is ready and open to engage a conversation to assist in your growth opportunities. Give us a call at MI (313) 527-7945 of FL (407) 984-7246